Saturday
by Heki564
Summary: A typical Saturday for the Akatsuki. sort of a crack fic... just an idea i came up with last year and i'm adding on to it... rated for language COMPLETE!
1. Tobi's Saturday

This was a story I wrote about a year ago and thot I'd post it here. Its my first Fanfic so don't be to hard!

**DISCLAMER: do not own naruto... got it?**

* * *

One day in the Akatsuki base…

"Dei-sempi! Wait for Tobi! You walk to fast!" Tobi was following his sempi as fast as he could.

"That's the point, un!" Deidara was trying his best to escape from Tobi. He was maneuvering through the building's many hallways at a very fast pace.

"Why Dei-sempi?"

"Because, un!"

"Because why?" Tobi smiled behind his mask. 'Dei-sempi fell for it again!' he thought.

Deidara's eyes widened in realization "Don't start that again! Unless u want blown up, un!"

Unfortunately for poor Deidara, Tobi's game had already begun. "Why?"

"Only warning! Shut up right now, un!"

This was Tobi's favorite part. "Why?" Then the masked nuisance ran down the hall as fast as he could before Deidara could make one of his bombs. He turned the corner and ran into hidan.

"Watch were your fucking going, Jashin damnit!" Hidan just woke up to deidera's screaming (again). He was _**not**_ in a good mood. He when to grab his scythe to cut the basted up but it was missing. "Fuck!"

"Tobi's sorry Hidan-san!" Tobi quickly replied. 'Tobi has to get going before Deidera shows up or there'd be no more Tobi!' "Bye-bye Hidan-san!" Tobi started running again till he came to a door. The sign on the door read:

Itachi and Kisame

"Oh! I wonder if they're up yet?" Tobi opened the door and walked in. Itachi was having a staring contest with Kisame in the corner. "Good morning Itachi-san, Kisame-san!

"How the hell did you get in here!" Itachi was in a bad mood. He'd lost 5 times already and Tobi was already on his nerves.

"I locked that door!" Kisame said with a confused face.

"Well not good enough! Did you remember the Tobi proof one?"

"Ummmmmmmmm…"

While Tobi was enjoying the conversation, he felt left out. "HEY!" Tobi had the complete attention of the two now. "You never said good morning!"

That gave Tobi a one-way ticket out the door. Kisame picked him up and threw him out the door.

"What was that for?" Tobi wondered aloud. He shrugged and started off for Deidera's room he shared with Sasori.

Sasori was working on a very special puppet and just started the delicate process of adding little details when Tobi barged in.

"DEI-SEMPI?" Tobi yelled real loud to make sure Deidara could here him. All he got in response was a very angry red-haired puppet kicking him out of the room.

"he wasn't in there…"Tobi sat where he was for a moment before, "Tobi knows! Maybe he's in his workshop!" So Tobi headed for Deidera's workshop. He walked in (completely ignoring the sign: no entry, especially Tobi, un) and found his sempi.

Deidera was sitting at his workbench working on a new masterpiece. "Sempi, what are you doing?"

Deidera looked up from his art. "There you are Tobi. I need your help, un."

Tobi was stunned. Dei-sempi needing _his_help? "Ok sempi! What can I do?"

"Come with me, un." Deidera gathered up his clay and left the room. Tobi followed him threw the base and out into the woods. When they were deep in the woods Deidera turned to Tobi.

"Tobi could you stand over there in that clearing." Tobi walked to the center of the clearing and waited. "That's good Tobi now wait one moment, un"

Tobi was to far away to hear Deidera so he just stared at his sempi and waited for the nxt step.

Deidara opened his clay bag and put his hand into it. When he pulled it out he had a bird in his palm. Deidara grinned to him self and muttered "Pay back time, un" he made the bird grow and it headed for Tobi.

Tobi, being to interested in a flower, didn't notice the bird until it was to late.

A loud boom was heard through out the base causing many sighs within it.

It was just another typical Saturday to them.

* * *

How was that? please r&r comments are welcome and flames will be laughed at!


	2. Deidara's Saturday

Hiya! I decided to add on to this so here's the next chappy! This is Deidara's Saturday! (even though we know most of it)

**DISCLAMER: do not own Naruto!**

* * *

Deidara was having a nice dream. He was flying high over an ocean. The breeze blowing and the calm sounds of the ocea-

"DEI-SEMPAI!"

Deidara jumped right off the bed and landed on the floor. 'Ugh… Tobi…' "What the hell Tobi, un?" he picked himself of the floor and glared at the orange-masked nuisance. 'so much for that dream.'

"Tobi wanted to say 'good morning' but he didn't know if you were awake yet…"

Deidara could swear he felt that stupid smile behind the mask. He sighed. "Whatever, un." Deidara went to his closet and got out a new outfit and went to take a shower.

After getting all nice and clean the artist headed for the kitchen to get some grub. He made a sandwich and started to eat it when our fave orange-masked ninja popped in.

"There you are Dei-sempai! Tobi has been looking for you!"

Deidara groaned "what do you want Tobi, un?"

Tobi looked at the floor "Well Tobi thought since no one else is up that he and you can play a game…"

"Wait… what time is it, un?" the blonde bomber looked at the clock. "HOLY SHIT! Its 6 am! What the hell Tobi, un?"

He stared at his shoes and muttered "Tobi was bored…"

Deidara was quickly loosing patience with Tobi. If it weren't for his Danna's speech the last time, Tobi would have been blown halfway to Pluto by now… But for now Deidara had to result to sighing... for now…

Tobi walked around his sempai to get to the cookie jar. "AH!!! Dei-sempai!!"

Deidara, who before the scream was drinking some water, spit all of it out across the floor. "WHAT, UN?"

"There's no cookies!" Tobi had a panicky tone to his voice. "What'll we do?"

It took all of Deidara's will power not to blow Tobi three galaxies away. "We'll go by some more, un," he said through his teeth.

"No you won't"

Deidara turned around to see Kakuzu in the doorway.

"Awwww! But Tobi wants cookies!" Tobi sat in a chair pouting.

"Too bad! We're saving the money for what we _need._" Kakuzu glared at Tobi causing the masked ninja to shrink in his seat.

"Alright" Tobi mumbled, still pouting. He stayed like that for a few moments before he went back to bugging poor Deidara. "What are we doing today sempai?"

Deidara sighed "I'm going to work on my art. You are going to leave me alone, un."

Kakuzu snorted and Tobi frowned behind his mask. "But…"

Deidara sighed for the forth time that day. Then he got an idea. "Why don't you play with Kakuzu?"

"Ok!" Tobi jumped out of his chair and Kakuzu started hacking in the corner.

"Um sorry Tobi but I… uh… have too… help Hidan… Yeah! He lost his… uh… scythe… yeah! His scythe so I've gotta help… maybe later…" Kakuzu then headed far far away from the kitchen.

'Damn chicken…' Deidara thought as Kakuzu left. Deidara then got up and started to walk to his workshop. Tobi got up and followed.

Deidara noticed his little shadow and started to walk faster. Tobi couldn't keep up. "Dei-sempi! Wait for Tobi! You walk to fast!"

"That's the point, un!" Deidara was maneuvering through the building's many hallways at a very fast pace.

"Why Dei-sempai?"

"Because, un!"

"Because why?" Deidara could hear Tobi smile behind his mask again.

Deidara's eyes widened 'Oh shit!' "Don't start that again! Unless u want blown up, un!"

Unfortunately Tobi's game had already started. "Why?"

"Only warning! Shut up right now, un!"

But Tobi didn't… "Why?" Tobi then shot off down the hall. Deidara was about to chase him but he got a better idea.

* * *

Smiling evilly to himself Deidara headed for his workroom to complete his brilliant plan.

"Sempi, what are you doing?"

Deidera looked up from his art. Tobi stood just inside the door looking at him curiously. "There you are Tobi. I need your help, un."

"Ok sempi! What can I do?" The eagerness in Tobi's voice was almost too much. Deidara almost lost control and started laughing evilly.

'Fell for it Hook, line and sinker' Deidara smiled inwardly. "Come with me, un." He gathered up his clay and left the room with Tobi following him threw the base and out into the woods.

* * *

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Deidara stepped back to look at his masterpiece. Tobi was in a tree all black. Smoke was rising from his charred clothing. But he wasn't dead. "Oh well, maybe next time."

Deidara then turned around to head for the base.

* * *

Soooooooooo… How was that? I think I'm going to do Saturday in all of the Akatsuki's point of views… should I?


	3. Kakuzu's Saturday

Here's Kakuzu's Saturday!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

Kakuzu woke up at 5:30 like usual. He followed his routine. First he counted his money, and then read the newspaper and before too long he could here Tobi annoying the hell out of Deidara. He then got out of his chair and walked over to Hidan's side of the room.

After wading through all the junk he made it to Hidan's bed. 'hmmmm… what to take this time' he wondered. He looked by Hidan's bed to see his scythe. 'Perfect' Kakuzu smiled to himself.

After he hide the scythe in the laundry room Kakuzu walked into the kitchen.

"We'll go by some more, un," Deidara didn't look happy.

"No you won't" He had no idea what they were talking about but this months bill was way to high for them to buy anything.

"Awwww! But Tobi wants cookies!" Tobi sat in a chair pouting.

"Too bad! We're saving the money for what we _need._" Kakuzu glared at Tobi.

"Alright" Tobi mumbled, still pouting. He stayed like that for a few moments before he went back to bugging Deidara. "What are we doing today sempai?"

Deidara sighed and Kakuzu could tell he was holding back his anger. "I'm going to work on my art. You are going to leave me alone, un."

Kakuzu snorted. Tobi leave Deidara alone? As if.

"But…" Tobi was _wining._ Kakuzu hated when he did that.

Deidara sighed but then an evil smile became present on the bombers face. "Why don't you play with Kakuzu?"

"Ok!" Tobi jumped out of his chair.

Kakuzu started hacking 'Oh _hell_ no!' "Um sorry Tobi but I… uh… have too… help Hidan… Yeah! He lost his… uh… scythe… yeah! His scythe so I've gotta help… maybe later…" Kakuzu then headed far far away from the kitchen.

When he got to his and Hidan's room, he heard the Jashinist cussing out Tobi. Then he heard angry stomping coming towards him. 'Here we go.'

Hidan burst into the room and started digging through his side of the room. He looked for a few minutes until he saw Kakuzu smirking in the corner.

"Where the hell is my scythe?" He glared at Kakuzu.

"Come on Hidan. Where are your manners?" Kakuzu chuckled.

"Shut the fuck up and tell me!" Hidan looked like he was going to kill someone.

"Why are you asking me? Maybe Tobi took it." Kakuzu shrugged.

Hidan's eyes got really big and he ran out of the room.

Kakuzu smiled behind his mask. 'This game never gets old.'

* * *

A few hours later Hidan came back.

"Did he have it?" Kakuzu asked innocently.

"I couldn't find him… I think Deidara took him outside…"

"Oh…"

A second later a loud boom was heard.

"Well at least it was outside this time" Kakuzu cringed as he remembered the bill from that day.

"But how the hell do I get my scythe now?"

"Sasori said he saw it in the laundry room."

Hidan headed out again but stopped in the doorway. "Wait a second… Pinocchio hasn't come out of his room all day…"

'Shit.' "Uh… well… um…" Hidan was glaring at him. "You see… uh…"

"Thought so…" Hidan smirked. "Now, were the hell is it?"

"Laundry room… I told you that." Kakuzu said coolly.

Hidan gave him one last glare before he stormed out.

'Oh well this round of the game's over.' Kakuzu sighed 'that's one for Hidan which leaves the score at 9 me and 4 Hidan…'

Kakuzu walked over to his chair to count his money. 'Next Saturday will be better…' he thought 'I might go for his precious rosary.' He chuckled as he imagined the immortals reaction.

* * *

Muahaha! Poor Hidan XD he got sent on a wild goose chase… lol please review! Tell me whose day should be next… I need ideas people!


	4. Sasori's Saturday

Thanks to JustYourAverageCrazyGirl and my friend Devin for voting ^^ thanks guys! Huge invisible chocolate cookies for u both! Now on to Sasori's Saturday!

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Sasori stared at the wall in front of him. He was working on a design for his new puppet but he lost his concentration when Deidara started snoring… from three mouths!

Sasori sighed and decided to give up. He walked out of his shared room and down the hall. He could hear Zetzu mumbling to himself in the kitchen so he went into the living room to find the newspaper.

He eventually found it under the couch guessing Tobi had read the comics and tossed everything else on the floor. He picked it up and sat in his chair by the doorway. His chair was placed her for many obvious reasons.

1. While the Akatsuki are S-class villains and are mass murderers, many are insane. This serves a means of escape.

2. Pissing Deidara off meant many explosions. So again this serves as a means of escape.

3. Pain tends to go all World Domination on anyone in the room. Again this is a quick way to get the hell outta there.

4. The door allows a nice breeze through. Sasori likes nice breezes.

So basically this is for a means of escape.

After Sasori had read the first line Pain had walked in. reason # 3 now goes in effect.

"Sasori, have I ever told you about the-"

Sasori quietly snuck out the door and quickly walked down the hall to his room. After five minutes of trying to read though Deidara's snoring (and miserably failing) he gave up on finding piece and threw the paper on the hall end table.

He then headed to his workroom but remembered that Deidara had blown it up.

"Brat" Sasori mumbled. He turned and headed towards the peacefullest place in the base…

The training room

* * *

After Sasori heard Tobi humming and heading towards Itachi and Kisame's room he figured his room was safe.

He walked down the hall and into his and Deidara's shared room. He found his puppet right where he left it and he breathed a sigh of relief.

This puppet was special to the puppet master. The dark haired puppet was almost complete. Sasori was just working on the name.

"Kushin? … No…" the puppet shook his head. "Nai? … No…" another shake of the head. "Kizu… hmmm…" Sasori tapped his chin in his usual habit. "That sounds good… Kizu it is then."

Now that the name was decided Sasori moved on to the tiny details of Kizu's face. He had just finished the eyes when Tobi barged in.

"DEI-SEMPI?" The masked ninja poked his head in the room before walking in.

Sasori loomed over Tobi. "Get the fuck out, _now_."

"tobi was just looking for-"

Tobi never got to finish is sentence for the red haired puppet had lost his temper and promptly threw (yes threw) Tobi out of his room. Sasori slammed the door shut and tried to clam down. Meaning he grabbed his voodoo dolls of doom and started poking Tobi's with poison needles.

* * *

Sasori heard the boom from his chair by the door. "Tch, brat" he muttered and rolled his eyes.

Kisame looked up from his place at the TV. "Deidara?"

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Who else?" 'Honestly. You'd think this organization's full of dumbasses…'

Just then Pain walked in. Sasori and Kisame where out of there in less than one nano-second.

* * *

I'm so sorry if these chapters don't match up perfectly! I'm trying!

Thanks for reading ^^ please review and post who's day should be next (that ist if u want anymore….


	5. Konan's Saturday

Sorry for the looooong wait. I was kinda busy plus I'm a major procrastinator…

Thanks to JustYourAverageCrazyGirl, Rypper65 and my friend Devin for voting. Konan won so Zetsu will be the next chapter. So here's Konan's day. Enjoy ^^

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!**

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Konan sighed as she was forced to sit through another one of Pain's domination speeches. She's heard them so much she could probably recite all of them by heart.

"And then we shall control all of the ninja world!" Pain ended his speech the same, no matter what version.

"Great plan." Konan rolled her eyes. "Now, may I get back to my work?"

"Sure." Pain practically skipped out of the room.

Konan got back to work on the resent activities for the Akatsuki. She was writing the success of Itachi and Kisame's last mission when Zetsu showed up.

"Deidara's on the verge of killing Tobi again." Zetsu's white half reported. "**Such an annoying brat**" his black half complained.

She sighed, "Don't they ever stop?" She finished the last line of her report then looked up at Zetsu. "What else?"

"Pain has requested a new mission for Itachi and Kisame." "**He wants them to assassinate the Tashita village's leader, Datesha."**

Konan sighed again. "I'll let them know. Anything else?"

"No" both sides replied.

"Then you may leave" she waited for Zetsu to leave before she got up to go to Itachi's and Kisame's room.

She knocked on the door and waited for Kisame to answer the door. "Konan? … Don't tell me we have another mission!" The blue man complained.

"Sorry guys but you seem to be the most responsible people here." She handed them the objective list and turned to walk away. "You leave tonight after dinner." She paused at the door and added, "Please pick up some bread when you come back. We seem to be out." She then closed the door and headed to her room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Konan was interrupted from her work when she heard Hidan storming by her room. He then burst into her room shouting "Do you now where my fucking scythe went?"

Konan sighed "No Hidan I don't know where it went. Did you ask Kakuzu?"

Hidan mumbled something under his breath and left the room. Konan wrote a note to warn Kakuzu to leave her out of Hidan's "Treasure Hunts."

She then got up to find Zetsu to give him the reports to give to Pain. She prefers to keep her distance from the egotistic leader whenever she can.

She wandered the base for a few moments before she found the plant man in the garden.

"Zetsu."

The green haired man stopped watering the garden and looked at her. "Yes Konan?"

"Here are the ropoorts to give to Pain." She handed him the papers. "I'm way to busy to give them myself."

"Ok then." **"We'll give hem them in a moment."** He then went back to watering the garden.

Konan smiled. That was her last thing to do for the day so she headed back to her room for a quick nap.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The explosion woke her up. She sighed and shook her head. She walked over to her desk and made a note to get Deidara into anger management classes.

She then went back to her bed to finish her nap before Pain could show up to give his speech.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ok so I know Kakuzu never told Hidan to ask Konan about his scythe but he took things into his own hands for a moment…. Again sorry if this doesn't add up but I'm trying my best here! Next chapter will be for Zetsu and hopefully wont have a long wait. ^^"


	6. Zetsu's Saturday

Two chapters in one day?!?!? It's a miracle XD

This was kind of confusing to write…. Together they're Zetsu but then there's Black Zetsu and White Zetsu….. So whenever I refer to Zetsu (or he), it means both halves….

Anyway here's Zetsu's Saturday.

* * *

Zetsu had been woken up early by Tobi complaining he was bored. While his black half sighed His white half told him to go find Deidara to play with. Tobi then happily skipped out of the room.

Zetsu got up and started to head to the garden when Pain caught them. "Did I ever tell you-"

"Yes Pain." His white half sighed. **"Many times."** His black half complained.

"Oh… How about-"

"That too."

"And-"

"Yep"

"Oh… Ok then…" He frowned and sighed. "Could you tell Konan to tell Itachi and Kisame to assassinate the Tashita village leader, Datesha?"

"Sure."

Pain smiled. "Thank you!" He then turned and skipped on down the hall. **"It's scary enough when Tobi does that. Pain makes it horrifying."** Zetsu shuddered.

He then headed to Konan's office to give her the message. He over heard Tobi's "Why" game and Deidara's loud responses on the way. Zetsu sighed and knocked on Konan's door before entering.

"Deidara's on the verge of killing Tobi again." White Zetsu reported. "**Such an annoying brat**" his black half complained.

She sighed, "Don't they ever stop?" she looked up from her work to looked at him. "What else?"

"Pain has requested a new mission for Itachi and Kisame." "**He wants them to assassinate the Tashita village's leader, Datesha."**

Konan sighed again. "I'll let them know. Anything else?"

"No" Zetsu replied.

"Then you may leave"

We turned around and left, closing the door behind us. He then decided to go to the garden to take care of his plants.

* * *

Konan had just given Zetsu the reports to give to Pain when he ran into Kisame. "Did you get your mission yet?" He asked

Kisame sighed. "Unfortunately… I'm on my way to the living room to wait for Itachi to finish dinner."

Zetsu shuddered. "Hopefully not involving vegetables again." **"That was discussing"** His black half complained.

Kisame smiled. "After what you did to him last time I doubt anyone will even think of eating vegetables."

Zetsu laughed remembering how he shoved Itachi head first into the garbage bin after stuffing the cooked (probably still hot) vegetables down his pants.

"I got to deliver these so I'll see you at dinner." Zetsu said still chuckling over the memory.

"Later Zetsu." Kisame called on his way to the living room.

Zetsu then left to find Pain. He found him in the closet reciting his latest speech. "Here" Zetsu shoved the papers into his hands and left before Pain had a chance to ask if he wanted to listen to his new speech.

* * *

He was in his room cleaning up Tobi's glittery mess from yesterday off the floor when he heard the blast. Sighing he threw the rest of the glitter in the trash and headed to pick some of his thinning aloe plants.

* * *

Itachi in the trash bin lol… Anyways please review who should suffer through a Saturday next! XD


	7. Pain's Saturday

Well It's like 3 in the morning and I can't sleep… though the 5 cans of Voltage Mountain Dew might have something to do with it… Oh well my lack of sleep is your gain! So here's Pain's Saturday!

**Thanks to krazy-kate, JustYourAverageCrazyGirl and Devin for voting!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto (or Voltage Mountain Dew)…**

* * *

Pain sat up in bed and stretched. After a few yawns he got ready for the day. He then pulled out his to do list for that day.

Give Konan World Domination speech (again)

Skip around the base and give anyone in your path the World Domination speech.

Tell Zetsu to tell Konan to tell Kisame and Itachi to assassinate a made up person

Annoy Oro.

Hide in a closet and make tomorrow's to do list.

While in the closet make up new World Domination Speech.

You see Pain's not really and egotistic intent on world domination maniac… (Ok maybe he's ego could use a little work…) He just act's that way to annoy the crap out of people for his own enjoyment.

Pain walked into Konan's room. She was at her desk working on papers. He walked over to her. "Konan?"

He heard her sigh as she looked up from her work. "Yes Pain?"

"You know how I'm capturing all the bijuu?" he tried to hide a smile when she rolled her eyes. "Well I plan on using their power to create an ultimate weapon of mass destruction!" a pause for dramatic effect and a forced gasp from Konan along with another eye roll. "It shall strike fear in the ninja's hearts! And then we shall control all of the ninja world!"

"Great plan." Konan rolled her eyes again. "Now, may I get back to my work?"

"Sure." Pain turned and skipped out of the room, mentally crossing off the first thing on his list.

He skipped his way into the living room and spotted Sasori reading the paper. 'bingo' he hid his smile as he walked towards the puppet. "Sasori, have I ever told you about the-"

And the red head was gone. 'Too easy.' Pain frowned.

He shrugged it off and continued down the hall. He spotted Zetsu and immediately skip over to him. "Did I ever tell you-" he started.

"Yes Pain." The white half sighed. **"Many times."** His black half complained.

"Oh… How about-"

"That too."

"And-"

"Yep"

"Oh… Ok then…" He frowned and sighed. He quickly came up with a fake name and country. "Could you tell Konan to tell Itachi and Kisame to assassinate the Tashita village leader, Datesha?"

"Sure."

Pain smiled. "Thank you!" He then turned and skipped on down the hall crossing the second and third thing off his list. 'Now to find Orochimaru.' He continued his skipping out of the base and headed towards Oro's layer.

He skipped right on into the layer and up to Orochimaru's bedroom. "Hello Old Friend" he smiled.

Orochimaru sighed. "Go away!"

Pain frowned. "Aw come on buddy!"

Orochimaru ignored the Akatsuki leader and started adding things to a beaker.

"What ca doin?" Pain looked over Oro's shoulder.

"Nothing. Now beat it!"

Pain went over to the other side of the table and picked up a beaker full of blue liquid. "What's thi- Oops!" He dropped the glass container on the floor causing it to brake and the blue stuff to go all over.

The snake man immediately chased Pain out of his layer.

Pain crossed number four of his mental list as he headed to the hall closet.

* * *

Pain had just finished his to do list and started on his new speech when Zetsu opened the closet door. "Here" Zetsu shoved the papers into his hands and left. Pain waited till Zetsu was gone to start laughing. Today's list was almost done and it wasn't even time for supper yet.

He added the finishing touches on his speech and started walking back to his room when he heard the result of Deidara's "Art." Ever since his encounter with Deidara's "Art is a Bang" theory he left annoying Deidara up to Tobi. 'Sounds like he's doing a good job too.' He laughed all the way back to his room.

* * *

**So what you think? Poor Oro XD His turn is next by the way! Can't wait!**


	8. Orochimaru's Saturday

Sorry about the wait! My Internet was out until last night so i couldn't post anything.... Anyways here's Orochimaru's Saturday!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!**

* * *

Orochimaru was in his bedroom/lab mixing a test tube full of red liquid into a beaker of blue liquid. He was trying to create a new kind of energy drink. But so far all his concoctions did was turn people different colors while making them go into over hyper mode.

As he mixed in another red tube, Pain walked in. "Hello Old Friend" he smiled.

Orochimaru sighed. This guy got even more annoying after he left the organization. "Go away!"

Pain frowned. "Aw come on buddy!"

Orochimaru ignored the Akatsuki leader and added more of the red liquid to the beaker.

"What ca doin?" Pain looked over his shoulder.

"Nothing. Now beat it!" Orochimaru's patience was wearing thin.

Pain went over to the other side of the table and picked up a beaker. "What's thi- Oops!"

Oro looked up to see his best drink so far pooled on the ground. The snake man immediately chased Pain out of his layer.

Then he went back to cry over his spilt energy drink.

* * *

"Oh Dosu!!!" Orochimaru had just finished the drink and needed someone to test his concoction. So far only Dosu had recovered from the last one.

The sound nin walked into the room. He saw the drink the snake man had made and tried to back out of the room.

"Come on Dosu! I promise this one wont turn you blue!" he crossed his fingers behind his back.

Dosu shuddered at the memory and eyed the drink. "You sure?"

"One-Hundred percent!" He smiled, fingers still hidden behind him.

Dosu grabbed the drink and sniffed it. He gave another questioning look at his leader. Oro nodded his head and Dosu took a deep breath before downing the drink.

"Well?" Orochimaru asked with anticipation.

Dosu smacked his lips. "It's pretty good" he was obviously surprised.

"Great!" Orochimaru turned to grab his clipboard of side-affects. "Now… How do you feel?" He asked in a psychiatrist tone.

"Ok… Except I'm a little light headed."

"That's expected" The snake man smiled. 'This could be it! So far no bad symptoms have shown and- … oops thought to soon…' Dosu was now turning a purple-ish color. "Um Dosu?"

"Yeah?"

"Go see kabuto…"

"Ok…" Dosu walked out of the room a little confused.

Oro dumped the rest of the drink down the sink and wrote a note to not put in so much of the red stuff.

* * *

Oro was taking his afternoon snake nap when he was awoken by a loud boom. He walked outside with everyone else to see Tobi hanging in a tree.

Orochimaru sighed and shook his head. Tobi was always ending up in their trees. 'Thats what I get for living near the Akatsuki base.' he thought. He ten ushered all of his now rainbow minions back inside.

So much for his nap…

* * *

So there's Oro's day... Now people, vote! We only have 3 people left. Hidan, Kisame and Itachi!


	9. Kisame's Saturday

**Kisame's chapter finally! Sorry for taking so long! To make up for it I've decided to post an extra special chapter at the end. For that Hidan has to go next and Itachi has to go last.**

**So here's Kisame's day!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto!**

* * *

Kisame awoke to a knock on his door. "You get it, Itachi" He rolled over intent on going back to sleep.

"No way, Fishstick. You get it." The Uchiha mumbled.

The blue man sighed and got out of bed. He walked to the door and found Konan on the other side. "Konan? … Don't tell me we have another mission!" The Kisame felt the urge to groan but suppressed it.

"Sorry guys but you seem to be the most responsible people here." She handed them a list and turned to walk away. "You leave tonight after dinner." She paused at the door and added, "Please pick up some bread when you come back. We seem to be out."

Kisame walked over to Itachi's bed and shook him. "Come on Itachi. We have a mission to plan for."

"Five more minutes." Itachi mumbled and rolled over.

Kisame sighed and walked around to the other side of the bed. He grabbed a hold of the mattress and flipped it earning a girly scream from the surprised Uchiha.

"What the Hell?!" Itachi glared at the laughing Kisame.

Kisame stopped laughing and returned the glare. This eventually led to a glaring contest and then contest_s_ with Kisame winning most of them. Tobi decided to burst in on their Eleventh game.

"Good morning Itachi-san, Kisame-san!

"How the hell did you get in here!" Itachi's bad mood was showing. He hated to lose.

"I locked that door!" Kisame said with a confused face.

"Well not good enough! Did you remember the Tobi proof one?"

"Ummmmmmmmm…"

"HEY!" Tobi yelled, drawing their attention back to the masked nuisance. "You never said good morning!"

Kisame started to get angry then. He picked Tobi up and shoved him out the door. He made sure to lock the Tobi proof lock. He then turned to see a glaring Uchiha. "What?"

Glare

…

Double glare

…

Death glare

…

blink

"HA!" Kisame smiled triumphantly Itachi. "Another game?" "No." Itachi sighed. "I have dinner duty tonight."

"Ouch. Well I'll give you a piece of advice."

"Yeah?"

"No vegetables this time." Kisame started to laugh then as a fuming Uchiha left the room; slamming the door.

* * *

Kisame was on his way to the living room when he ran into Zetsu.

"Did you get your mission yet?" He asked

Kisame sighed. "Unfortunately… I'm on my way to the living room to wait for Itachi to finish dinner."

Zetsu shuddered. "Hopefully not involving vegetables again." **"That was discussing"** His black half complained.

Kisame thought about the last time Itachi cooked and he couldn't help but smile. "After what you did to him last time I doubt anyone will even think of eating vegetables."

Zetsu laughed "I got to deliver these so I'll see you at dinner."

"Later Zetsu." Kisame continued down the hall to the living room. He turned on the TV and sprawled out onto the floor. He was so wrapped up in the power puff girls' fight with Mojo Jojo he barley noticed Sasori come in.

He did however notice the boom that shook the base. "Tch, brat" he heard the puppet muttered behind him.

Kisame looked up from his place on the floor. "Deidara?" he asked.

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Who else?"

Just then Pain walked in and both criminals suddenly disappeared.

* * *

**Hopefully Hidan's and Itachi's chapters wont take so long! Reviews make me happy and when i'm happy i work faster ;)**


	10. Hidan's Saturday

Here's Hidan's Saturday! I'm hoping to finish this by Thanksgiving so Itachi's chapter should be up soon but I'm not promising anything.

**Obvious language warning…**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

Hidan was _pissed_. First he woke up to a racket in the kitchen and then he ran into Tobi. Now his scythe was missing. He stomped through the halls down to his an Kakuzu's room.

Hidan burst into the room and started digging through his side of the room. He looked for a few minutes until he saw Kakuzu smirking in the corner. "Where the hell is my scythe?" He glared at Kakuzu.

"Come on Hidan. Where are your manners?" Kakuzu chuckled.

"Shut the fuck up and tell me!" Hidan was on the verge of killing someone.

"Why are you asking me? Maybe Tobi took it." Kakuzu shrugged.

Hidan's eyes got really big and he ran out of the room. If Tobi took it anything could happen to it. And when he says anything he means _anything_.

Hidan through the base to get to the room Zetsu unfortunately has to share with Tobi. He burst into the room and stepped into a pile of glitter. He cursed under his breath and pulled off his shoes to inspect the damage.

"Damn it!" Pink and red glitter coated the bottom of his shoes. "Damn Tobi." He mumbled as he walked to the nearest bathroom.

* * *

Hidan stormed down the hallways of the base. He was way beyond pissed now. He'd gone to Konan's room after Tobi's and then the living room were he had the unfortunate encounter with a pissed off Uchiha. And that never ends well.

Hidan burst into his and Kakuzu's shared room.

Kakuzu looked up from his money to ask, "Did he have it?"

"I couldn't find him… I think Deidara took him out side."

"Oh…"

A loud boom was heard and Hidan smirked. 'The damn bastard deserves what he gets'

"Well at least it was outside this time."

Hidan smiled at the memory of the fuming waterfall ninja after that day. Then a thought struck him. "But how the hell do I get my scythe back now?"

"Sasori said he saw it in the laundry room."

Hidan headed for the doorway in a rush. He was tired of this goose chase and wanted his scythe back _now_. But when he got to the door way he realized that he hadn't seen the puppet all day. "Wait a second… Pinocchio hasn't come out of his room all day…"

"Uh… well… um…" Hidan glared at Kakuzu. "You see… uh…"

'That damn fuckin' miser!' Hidan was ready to rip the man apart when he got a better idea. "Thought so…" he smirked. "Now, Where the hell is it?"

"Laundry room… I told you that."

Hidan glared at him as he stormed out of the room. Now it was his turn. But first the laundry room.

* * *

Hidan had just finished stacking the pile of money on the bedroom floor when Kakuzu stepped in. "What the hell are you doing?"

Hidan looked up and gave his most innocent look. "Why nothing Kuzu."

"Don't give me that look. It's freakin' scary as hell."

Hidan smiled then, a dark twisted sadistic smile. "Fine then." Hidan pulled out a match and lit it.

"Hidan don't-" But it was too late.

Hidan had dropped the match onto the pile of money on the floor and sat back to watch the miser franticly try to save his money. 'And Hidan wins the war'

* * *

**Itachi's might be up by the end of the weekend… depending on whether my parents let me on again…**


	11. Itachi's Saturday

**This chapter is short but I'll try to make the final chapter bigger. So enjoy Itachi's day!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned in this or any of the other chapters.**

* * *

Itachi pouted as he headed for the kitchen. Today had not started off good. First he was rudely awakened by Kisame. Then he kept loosing in their glaring contests and finally Tobi had barged into their room. Not to mention the fact he had a mission the next day.

The Uchiha let out a frustrated sigh as he entered the living room. He stopped in doorway when he saw Hidan searching through his stuff in the corner of the room. "What the hell, Hidan!"

Hidan looked up from the messed up pile. "Why do you have one of Deidara's Cover Girl magazines?"

Itachi's eyes widened. He stormed over to Hidan and grabbed the Jashinist's shirt. "You'll tell no one if you value your head."

Itachi let Hidan go and the immortal took a step back. "Uh… no problem…" Hidan looked toward the door and started to back up to it. "You… uh… haven't seen my… uh scythe… Have you?"

Itachi glared. "No. Now leave." Hidan turned and walked out the door at a fast pace.

Itachi sighed and continued to the kitchen. After donning the pink frilly apron Pain made the cooks wear he looked though the recipes. He avoided the ones containing vegetables; shuddering at the memory of the last time he cooked them.

He found a decent recipe in the back of the cookbook. He glanced through it and decided to make it. He then gathered ingredients and started to cook.

* * *

Itachi had just put the dish into the oven when he heard the explosion. He looked out the window and saw the small mushroom cloud over by Orochimaru's base.

He sighed and walked over to the phone. He dialed Oro's number and waited.

_Ring._

_Ring._

_Ri-_ "Hello! Orochimaru's Base, how may I help you?"

The Uchiha winced at the flowery voice coming out of the phone. "Hey Kabuto. Is Orochimaru there?"

"Yep! I'll go get him!"

Itachi could practically see the ridiculous smile on the man's face. 'Damn Oro and his nasty potions.'

"Hello?"

"Hey Oro it's Itachi. Was Deidara just over there?"

Itachi heard the man sigh. "Yes. I was woken up from my snake nap."

"I see. Well could I make up for it by inviting you over to dinner?"

There was a pause before, "Sure. As long as that stupid fish doesn't cook."

"He won't. Dinner's in half an hour." Itachi hung up the phone and sighed as he set an extra place at the table. 'Damn Deidara.'

* * *

**Well I bet you all can guess what the finale is... Dinner time at the Akatsuki base! Hopefully it'll be up before or around Thanksgiving… Thank god for Thanksgiving break! XD**


	12. Saturday Dinner

**Well this is it! I thank all of you for putting up with my tardy updates. Hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

* * *

Sasori and Kisame were the first to arrive in the dinning room. They were both out of breath from running trough the base. After catching their breath they took their seats at the table.

Deidara came next. He didn't look very happy and he was mumbling curses under his breath as he took his seat next to Sasori.

Following behind the bomber was a very charred Tobi being lead by a pissed Zetsu. They took their seats and Zetsu glared at the mumbling blond from across the table.

A very happy Hidan came in followed by Kakuzu. The masked man had his fingers wrapped in cloths and had a homicidal look in his eyes when directed at the smiling albino in front of him.

Konan came in and quietly took her seat as the doorbell rang. They all heard a cheerful voice shout, "I got it!" They heard the door open and then a yelp. After a few moments an irritated Orochimaru came in along with Pain who had a huge bump on his head.

They sat in silence while they waited for Itachi and the food. When Itachi brought the food out it was all they could do to not laugh at him. The Uchiha was wearing a frilly pink apron and had sauce all over his face.

Itachi threw the dish he was carrying onto the table and sat down beside Kisame. Everyone stared at the dish before them. It looked like somebody had spilled their guts into the pan after grinding them up and then set them on fire.

"Ummm… What is this?" Konan asked without taking her eyes off the burnt goop.

"The recipe said 'Meatloaf.'" Itachi declared.

They all continued to stare until Zetsu decided to try it. They watched him in anticipation as he filled his plate and took a bite. He chewed for a while before announcing, "I'd give it a five out of ten."

Asuming it was ok to eat they all filled their plates and began to eat.

Tobi started to sculpt animals out of the goo. He was quit content until the bunny he was making exploded unexpectedly. Deidara tried to suppress his giggles unsuccessfully and before to long he was on the floor rolling in laugher at the meat covered Tobi.

Tobi began to cry and Zetsu had to take him out of the room. He dragged the laughing blond out as well. The rest of the group continued eating as if nothing happened. They made small talk for a while like "How's the missions?" or "Awesome weather we're having."

Before too long Hidan started to get bored. He decided he was going to need to make this dinner a lot more interesting. The Jashinist piled some of the "meatloaf" onto his fork and flung it at Kakuzu.

Unfortunately for him, he's a bad shot and the goop missed its target and hit Kisame instead. The blue man didn't see Hidan hide his fork so he thought the snake man beside him did it. Kisame piled some off the goo onto his fork and flung it at Oro.

Kisame turned out to have better aim than Hidan as the food hit its mark. The pale man abruptly stopped his conversation with Itachi and turned to look at the laughing man. "What the hell?!"

Kisame was laughing too hard to answer so Oro picked up his plate and threw it. He turned out to have worse aim than Hidan as he hit Konan instead. Before too long there was a massive food fight with everyone getting covered in the goop.

Hearing the noise Zetsu came back in only to get a handful of goo in his face. He cursed and wiped his face. Looking around the room he wisely chose to back out the door.

After a few minutes the food stopped flying and everyone sat back down. Well, almost everyone. Hidan was lying on the floor, unconscious. Kakuzu hit him with a plate shortly after the fight begain.

Itachi decided to leave so he could clean off and Kakuzu followed to do the same. After a few quiet moments Pain spoke up. "Did I ever tell you how I'm going to catch all the Bijuu?"

Four heads landed on the table as Pain smiled happily to himself.

* * *

**Hope you guys enjoyed it!**


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